I can’t sit and have a conversation with someone without leaving in the middle to “go to the bathroom,” where I sit, cry, calm myself down, regain my composure just to go back out again and act like nothing is wrong.

My friends must think I have the bladder of a freaking mouse.

I think this stomach thing was anxiety induced. My chest hurts because my heart has been racing then going super slowly when I finally calm myself down. My stomach is in knots. I’m having trouble keeping my breath steady.

Crying. Hyperventilating.

This is my life. I wish there was a pause button. A week or two to get myself together.

I can’t do this. I can’t.

I need everything to stop but everything’s charging ahead at full speed as I curl up in a ball on my bed, deciding that I don’t care about anything at all.