I’ve never been good at writing these things, but I think there are some things you should know about me.
First of all, I love puppies more than you can imagine. I’m quirky as all hell and have a strange sense of humor. My socks literally never match. I’m an absolute nerd and I embrace it! I love anything to do with psychology or neuroscience. I love my best friends…they’re the reason I’m still alive. I’m incredibly family-oriented, even though my family is insane. I love writing and photography even though I’m not very good at either. I also consider myself a musician…mostly because music has saved my life.
I’ve been through hell and back in my life; I’ve struggled with an eating disorder and self-harm, moved 12 times in my 18 years of life, and dealt with some really terrible men that my Mother dated. I learned at a very young age not to trust anyone, especially men. To this day, it takes a lot for me to open up and trust that they won’t intentionally hurt me. I flashback to those terrible moments from my childhood in the middle of the night. I’ve been in treatment for my eating disorder three times & I hope and pray that this time will be the last time, that this time is when I will truly recover.
Even though I’ve dealt with a lot in my life, I’ve also had the privilege to meet some really amazing people and have absolutely amazing experiences. I try to focus on the positive things of the here & now, because if I focus on the past, I’ll never make any progress.
I’ve founded the organization How To Save A Life and raised almost $2,000 for the National Cervical Cancer Coalition and the Epilepsy Foundation I’m passionate about helping people.
I graduated in the top 10% of my class in high school. Of course, in my “I’m not good enough” state of mind, I was upset that I didn’t get top 5%. I got a full scholarship, and am going to Stony Brook University for psychology with a concentration in biology and physics in hopes of going into biopsychology research; I want to study the connections between physiological processes and psychological phenomena.
I want to change the “help” system that is in place for eating disorders. I had trouble getting treatment based on my weight, and that’s frustrating, especially because so many women have faced the same obstacles. I want to get into treatment centers and change the way they treat eating disorders, and hopefully the way they define them. I want my research to help me to find better ways of treatment, maybe a new kind of therapy or a new medication that will help the process of recovery.
I have far too much ambition for just one life, but I’m going to do my best to do everything I hope to before I take my last breath.
With all this ambition, I’ve realized I’m not ready to let life go, not yet. That’s my motivation to recover…there’s too much life left to live to just give it over to this disorder.