February 2012
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"Eating disorders are mental illnesses. The side...
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“No matter how far you travel, you can never get away from yourself.”
– Haruki Murakami (via alostfantasy)
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I’ve become that girl.
I used to come off as a very happy pretty carefree girl. I used to work hard at everything that I ever did. I worked a pretty much full-time job plus an internship during my senior year while I took 3 AP classes, applied to college and actually had a social life. I never let life get me down. People didn’t understand how I dealt with life the way that I did, how...
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Dear Alexa,
Of course NEDA week makes me think of you.
I miss you, a lot. It’s been five months since I lost you. I still think and dream about you.
I can’t help but wonder if there was something I could have said or done that would have made you change your mind. That would have saved you.
I wish I could tell you I’m doing well. I’m eating, yes. But every day is a battle to keep...
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I feel like an absolute fat ass.
Tired of this.
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Where do you draw the line?
After you’ve been to any kind of treatment for an eating disorder, you seem to come out with this strange belief that contrasts everything that society believes: weight loss is the devil. I tend to not be able to admit that someone needs to lose weight. I don’t congratulate them on their journey to health (when they’re doing it the healthy way!) but become an enabler, telling...
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“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your...”
– Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat, Pray, Love (via catdelivery)
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“Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path...”
– Ellen Degeneres (via thefutureisporcelain)
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February is never an easy month for me.
It tends to be a month of struggles. Maybe it’s the cold weather or maybe it’s just the motions that I go through, but it’s hard either way.
I just want February to be over. I want my birthday to come. I want to turn 19 and be able to say that this year I’m putting all of this behind me. It’s always what I promise myself, but I never do.
Anonymous asked: Also, watch Sir Ken Robinson's speech, "Do Schools Kill Creativity?". Everyone should see it, it's really remarkable!
Anonymous asked: In regards to your post about feeling stupid, please listen! What you do with your life is not stupid unless you don't do anything. The school system has set people up to feel like failures if they don't want to, or can't, succeed in the maths and sciences. WRONG. Listen to this quote from Einstein: "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a...
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“But then, the truth was never really the point. Thin women don’t tell their fat...”
– Kate Harding (via rhiannon-random)
another example of thin privilege, your body type doesn’t carry these negative synonyms
(via fatcatsandcurls)
“As we live, we grow and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we...”
– Martin Buber, who was born on this date in 1878 (via arielnietzsche)
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Inadequacy.
I’m starting to doubt myself. I mean, I always do, but in terms of school and my major.
Most, if not all, of my friends are pre-med at my school. It’s not surprising- they say 80% of students at Stony are pre-med until their sophomore year, then they realize it’s too hellish to be worth it.
But my friends… I could see them actually going to med school, being doctors....
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Being sick sucks.
I have to go to class tomorrow because there’s a not-so-surprising pop quiz tomorrow in one of my classes. I’m literally too dizzy to move.
All I want is apple juice but I don’t want to go to the store. Apple juice and sherbert would be wonderful.
I sound like such a child haha.
I just want to feel better.
Anyone want to build me a new immune system?
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Sick, as always.
Fever. Head exploding. Freezing. Throat feels swollen.
Why am I always sick? I need a new immune system.
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100 Tips About Life, People, and Happiness →
lazersquid:
goddess-of-sprites:
1. True wisdom and insight is always free.
2. Give your power over to no one.
3. Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.
4. Get a library card.
5. Spend more time around people that both challenge and respect you.
6. Remain skeptical forever.
7. Fight for what matters.
8. There is a method that works. Find it.
9. Join a movement.
10. Drink...
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Entertain me? Distract me?
Keep me company?
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For those who are struggling to get inpatient...
summergirl88:
this article http://edtreatmentreview.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/appeal-treatment-is-not-impossible/ is extremely helpful and offers a variety of options which could get you access to inpatient treatment.
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I want to believe you.
We talked. You told me that when you see the scars, you won’t think any less of me. You won’t see me as any less beautiful. You told me that the scars tell my story, that you don’t want me to add more, but that you won’t judge me for the ones that I have.
I want to believe you.
You say that you tell me that I’m beautiful not to get me to stop starving myself or to...
Talk to me.
The thoughts are overwhelming.
Would anyone care if I really did it?
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To all the people in treatment:
Appreciate it. I know it’s hard. I know that it’s difficult to throw away everything you know and allow yourself to let go and get better.
But appreciate what you have.
I would give anything to be in treatment right now, to finally get better and be able to let this go. I wish I could do it on my own but I’m falling apart. I need help and insurance won’t cover NEARLY...
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Life is exhausting.
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Dark secrets and smelly butts: “Eight things I... →
selfinspiration:
by Kate Bartolotta
1. Your body doesn’t lie. You might say, “I’m relaxed!” or, “That pressure is great, you can work deeper,” but your body may tell a very different story. What goes on in your muscles, with your breathing, with your pulse is the truest you: the you that…
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“Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.”
– My flammable roommate’s fabulous writing professor (via commodore-sparklebutt)
Life is a constant panic attack.
I can’t sit and have a conversation with someone without leaving in the middle to “go to the bathroom,” where I sit, cry, calm myself down, regain my composure just to go back out again and act like nothing is wrong.
My friends must think I have the bladder of a freaking mouse.
I think this stomach thing was anxiety induced. My chest hurts because my heart has been racing then...